We’ve Moved!

With the launch of the all new KLIN.com, the Jack & John Blog has also moved.

You can now find our latest blogs as well as the show podcast and a whole lot more at the all new KLIN.com.

Our older blog posts will still be found here, but all new posts are now at the new website.

Thanks for checking in with us!

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In Honor of First Day of School Eve

We decided to bring back an oldie, but a goodie.  Ok, it’s actually not that good, but it was so bad it was hillarious.  But given that the kids are all heading back to school tomorrow, we though it a good time to bust this one out.

Jack sang his elementary alma mater’s school song, “Thank You For May Morley” back in 2008, and the guys all were baffled by the fact that a K-6 school chose an ABBA tune to use as a template to engender school spirit.

If you’re listening really hard, you may even catch a little Charlie Brogan in there.   Now that’s OLD SCHOOL.

Tuesday Top 5: Top National Fast Food Chains

Every Tuesday, Jack & John rank their top 5 somethings, and the categories have no bounds.  Then, they take the discussion to the air Wednesdays starting at 8:20.  Your input is encouraged both on the blog and on-air.  Share your own top 5, criticize theirs, or get in-depth with the discussion.

Jack & John frequently will have a healthy lunch together. While John continues to feed his face, Jack points to an adjacent table and asks if the customer is "gonna eat that?"

OK, so back in March we did “Munch Madness”, and local favorites like Amigos, Val’s and Runza did battle for the crown of the best signature culinary item in the city.  Well, on today’s Tuesday Top 5, we’re going national.  We want to hear your top 5 favorite nationwide fast food chains.  If there’s any confusion about where the line should be drawn between ‘regional’ and ‘national’ or ‘casual dining’ and ‘fast food’, we’ll use this page as a resource.  If your favorite is under the listing for the U.S., it can be ranked.

Now, Bish is on vacation this week, so Jack’s top five are posted below, and we’ll have Chris Whitney weigh in on both the blog and on-air on Wednesday.

Jack’s Top 5:

1.  Chipotle: I don’t know if it’s the sleek decor, the trendy loud music, the assembly line-like nature of ordering, or the fact that the burritos are as big as my 2-week old daughter, but I’m more than willing to put up with the long lines downtown and the general messiness that goes along with eating here whenever possible.

2.  Culver’s: I often ask myself if I’d like Culvers as much if it weren’t for the custard.  I still don’t have an answer to that.  I think the thing that keeps bringing me back is that at Culver’s, unlike most restaurants, I don’t have that one go-to order that I get every time I’m there.  For some reason, this place actually gives me and my set-in-my-ways style freedom to mix it up a little bit.  Plus, I know we’re talking instant heart attack, but I’ll pretty much take fried cheese curds anytime, anyplace.

3.  Raising Cane’s: I don’t think there are a lot of people that would deny this is the best any fast food restaurant has done with the concept of chicken fingers by leaps and bounds, but the thing that I really love (and didn’t even like at first) is the pure simplicity of the ordering process.  There’s not 27 value meals to pick from or 4 different “dollar menus” of which you need to keep track.  There are 4 different things you can get.  That’s it.  It makes the lines go quicker, makes me less stressed out, and it just works.

4.  Jimmy John’s: While I’m still put off everytime I walk in one of these places and the 37 teenagers working there all say “hi” in unison, there’s something to be said for knowing you’re going to get your food in less than 2 minutes from walking in the door.  Plus, sandwich shops are a dime a dozen, and again, I’m not a big fan of the complicated ordering situations, particularly at sandwich shops, so I actually like that I don’t have to go through and tell them every single ingredient I want.

5.  Burger King: This is kind of a novelty spot because it only a very small portion of BK’s offering.  Breakfast.  I’m pretty sure that when the Croissanwich debuted in the early 80s, it was one of the greatest things ever, ushering in the concept of breakfast through the drive-through (I think McDonalds was first, but their offerings don’t hold a candle to BK’s).  They’ve also added in the little hash brown bites which are superior to the single checkbook-sized hash brown McDonald’s offers in every way.  I can’t tell you how many times on  fall Saturday mornings during in my early 20s the very first thing I did was hit the local BK and spend the next hour slowly eating a Sausage Croissanwich or two while watching College Gameday.

John’s Top 5:

Vacation or not, I’m not one to let a food debate go unchecked.  Besides, this one is a real toughy.  While the cereal top 5 was easy to come up with, this one is not so easy.  First, there isn’t a “bad” fast food that I have had.  Sure I’ve had some bad experiences at certain stores, but they have been made up for with several trips to good stores.  I am ruling out pizza places right off the bat.  To me “fast food” is burgers, sandwiches, chicken and tacos.  I am also disqualifying a few places that appear on the list Jack provided.  If a waitress comes to your table to take your order, that is NOT fast food.  You go to a counter, you order and you generally receive your food in less than 5 minutes.  That may be a liberal definition, but that will qualify as “fast food.”  So even though I clamor for these two restaurants to come to Lincoln, Waffle House and my beloved Steak n Shake do not make the cut using this criteria.  But they are still damn good.  I am also not going to rate solely on the taste of the food, for reasons that will be apparent as you read along.

1) Schlotzsky’s.  There is bias here.  This was the first job I held after moving to Lincoln and a place where I met some great, lifelong friends, one of whom still runs the only remaining Schlotzsky’s in town (27th & Holdrege.)  But it is also, hands down, the best tasting sandwich in Lincoln.  Subway?  Ok, but tastes like it’s made on an assembly line.  Jimmy John’s?  Good, but I’ve had that sandwich before.  It’s called Little King.   But Schlotzsky’s is unique.  The sourdough buns are fantastic (I recommend the rye.)  Most of your meats, cheeses and veggies are the same so for a sandwich, the bread is the difference-maker.  The other difference-maker is how you assemble the sandwich.  Schlotzsky’s was toasting their “Original” long before most places figured out that a hot sandwich combines the flavors of the meat, cheese and bread better than slapping things together cold.  I’ve never had a bad Schlotzsky’s.  Even the vegetarian sandwich.  But I highly recommend an Original on rye with a splash of their hot sauce.  Awesome.

2) Wendy’s.  Best “fast food” burger.  I always thought a burger was more than ketchup, mustard, pickles.  Give me tomatoes!  Give me onions!  Give me lettuce!  I remember when Wendy’s first came to Fremont.  I was probably the only 8 year old who liked his single with “everything.”  I can also remember complaining when the “extras” started sliding out from between the buns.  But with maturity (and larger hands), I have since controlled my hamburger.  Then add their thick-cut fries and the kick-ass Frosty.  Boom!  Fast food perfection.

3) Taco John’s.  Since coming to Lincoln, Amigos has taken over as my choice for fast food Mexican (with Taco Inn a close second).  But because these two are “local” fast food, they are DQ’ed from this list.  That doesn’t diminish from Taco John’s.  Sure the tacos are thin and flimsy.  Sometimes they are overly greasy.  For some reason, they are very tasty.  I think a lot of that comes from their hot sauce which, along with Arby’s Sauce, is as close to crack cocaine as is legally possible.  Then you add in the Potato Oles, which gave tator tots new life.  Once in a while, I’ll go with a burrito or nachos, but the best meal is the Six Pack & a Pound.  Back in college, this was Sunday dinner.  Kick back with six hardshells, a buttload of Oles and some ESPN Sunday Night Football.  Yeah!  Today, I might be able to do four tacos and a half-buttload of Oles.  Just make sure I have at least 8 packs of hot sauce.

4) Dairy Queen.  Like Jack’s selection of BK, this pick is done on one thing only.  Perhaps the simplest, yet most addicting dessert known to mankind.  It is sweet treat perfection in just three words.  Peanut.  Buster.  Parfait.  Blizzards are fine.  Banana Splits are great.  Everyone loves a good malt or shake.  But if DQ just sold the PBP, that’s all they ever need.  DQ’s famous soft serve, topped with Spanish peanuts, topped with hot fudge.  Holy crap, I’m drooling…..

5) McDonald’s.  This choice was very difficult.  Wendy’s has the better burger.  Burger King has a better burger (but their fries are atrocious.)  But McD’s makes the cut because there’s not a fast food I have had more times than theirs.  It’s the power of marketing and of having one seemingly located at just the right place at the right time.  Seriously.  When I am in a hurry or on a road trip, it seems like the Golden Arches are always right there when you need them.  While I still prefer the Wendy’s have-a-salad-bar-on-top-of-your-burger concept, McDonalds works without the “extras.”  In fact, every time they try to copy the Wendy’s single or the BK Whopper (see Arch Deluxe or McDLT), it falls flat.  There’s something about a McDonald’s hamburger that just has to be simple.  A Quarter Pounder is just as good today as it was 20 years ago.  For that, Ronald McDonald gets extra credit.

Chris’s Top 5:

5) WAFFLE HOUSE
Ok, this might catch a lot of grief—and rightfully so, but hear me out. We don’t have any Waffle Houses near Lincoln for quite a distance—the closest is in Kansas City I think. But once you get south of Kansas City, you can’t shake a stick without seeing them. The menu is pretty simple, but it’s a place that has heart. You’ll see people from everywhere—and I mean everywhere—at a Waffle House, no matter what time of day you’re there. It’s a little kitschy, but the jukebox, the ordering process, and the kindness of the waitresses have always made for a good dining experience for this guy. That and they have awesome omelettes.

4) QDOBA
I will preface this by saying I have only been to Qdoba once, it was after a grueling day of ultimate last summer in Omaha. I’d heard all about it from my Omaha friends so I figured it was worth a shot. To this day, the quesadilla I scarfed down was a thing they write novels about. The flavors were just right, the dipping sauce was fantastic and the guacamole was perfect. Granted a quesadilla isn’t too hard to perfect–or at least do well–but Qdoba did the job and then some. I fear if I go back it will spoil what was one of the better dining experiences in recent memory. Am I over the top here? Maybe. But it was good. Number four good.

3) SONIC
I rarely go to Sonic, but when I’ve gone, I’ve never been disappointed and always thought to myself “I should really be going here more often.” First off, the menu is incredible. They used to have this ‘Hickory Burger’ that was loaded up with BBQ sauce that was a sure get every time. Plus, their shakes, malts, slushies are always good on a hot day. And I haven’t even gotten to the coney dogs yet. Very solid entry at number three, I look at it as a special occasion when I go for some reason since their Lincoln locations are pretty far from my neck of the woods.

2) GODFATHER’S PIZZA
We discussed putting them up for the Munch Madness extravaganza, but alas they fell short. I used to work at Hy-Vee making pizzas and for awhile, Godfather’s was the only one I would eat besides the ones I’d make for myself at the V. They have a great large  one-topping pizza special on Mondays/Tuesdays for $5.50 that is one of the better deals around in terms of quantity and quality. My reason for the #2 ranking? The taco pizza. It has stood the test of time and it always hits the spot. While it is a chain, it kind of had the neighborhood feel to it as well whether it was going in my days growing up or even going back now as an adult.

1) JIMMY JOHN’S
I tried not to duplicate anything Jack had put up here since there’s a ton to choose from, but Jimmy John’s proved to be undeniable. Yes, they really do make sandwiches so fast you’ll freak. A buddy of mine worked there for a spell in college and it was incredible to see the sandwich artists go to work. Even if it’s busy, you’ll get a sandwich in good time and I’ve yet to find a sandwich I don’t like from their menu. Plus they deliver. That, and now that they have a ton of Lincoln locations, it’s like a reward for frequenting their then-only location at 14th and O for so long.

WEDNESDAY MORNING EDIT (from Jack):  I realize the list I provided from wikipedia is flawed.  Not only does Bish make some valid criticisms, but it appears that a few original Lincoln joints (Runza, Amigos) are on the list, and the goal was to stay away from those.  My new criteria is that in order to be a “national” fast food chain, it needs to appear in half of the United States.  I realize people generally don’t have that data, but it provides a general guideline.

Tuesday Top 5: Best Syndicated Shows in TV History

On Today’s incarnation of Jack & John’s Tuesday Top 5, we rank our favorite TV shows that show or showed reruns in syndication.  Now, to be clear, this is a different animal than a simple list of “favorite TV shows” in several ways. Obviously, the shows on our lists must be currently or previously have reruns shown in syndication on a regular basis. More importantly, however, in order to be successful, the show not only needs to be good, but must also have a long shelf-life.  In other words, it can’t feel dated even if it the episode originally aired 10 or more years ago, and you’ve got to be able to watch the same episodes of these shows over and over again without boredom setting in.  So it should be clear, the best TV shows don’t always make the best syndicated TV shows. So…to the lists

John’s Top Five:

This one was a lot tougher to come up with than last week’s.  While my taste in cereals has remained relatively unchanged in 30 years, television viewing habits have not.  I’m really not into watching a lot of network television anymore unless it is live sports.  That’s mainly because of the dung heap that is “reality” television and the dramas are all “CSI”, “Law & Order” or some repackaging of lawyer/cop formulas from days gone by.  With that said, there are some classics that stand the test of time and freshness that Jack layed out in the above formula.

1) The Sopranos.  My all time favorite television show.  I miss it badly.  Though it ran only 86 episodes, I can still watch each one again and again.  Even the edited version that runs on A&E.  It’s that (edited) good.  With so few episodes, I have to go in and out of watching the series.  I am torn as to if I want HBO to make a movie (ala “Sex and the City”) because it was so different in how they crafted the storyline.  And I am one of the few that had no issue with the abrupt ending because this wasn’t a story that can wrap things up in a nice, tidy package.

Oh, and it also gives me a chance to share this clip of Ralphie Cifaretto and his unique pronunciation of the word “whore.”  And this clip of Phil Leotardo. ***LANGUAGE WARNING***

2) The Office.  The only other show in syndication that is on my DVR.  This was one that I actually started watching in syndication before moving over to the network version.  I haven’t yet seen every episode, which is even better because once the show dies after this season (with the departure of Steve Carell), I’ll still have a show that seems fresh.

3) Seinfeld.  Prior to The Sopranos, my favorite television show.  Best comedy ever.  Cannot tell you the number of times I have quoted or relived scenes with fellow co-workers on this show.  Best supporting characters of any program.  Kramer.  Newman.  Jackie Styles.  Mr. Peterman and my personal favorite, George’s parents – especially Frank Costanza (played by Jerry Stiller.)

4) Hogan’s Heroes.  The original run ended just before I was born, but after school during my grade school years, this WWII comedy ran after school every day (Channel 3, I think.)  Unlike M*A*S*H*, which took a much more serious turn after the departure of Trapper John, Hogan’s Heroes never betrayed its comedy roots.  To this day I will quote Sgt. Schultz, Col. Klink and Major Hochstetter.  This is a show that needs a movie remake, but the key is who plays Klink and Schultz, they were the glue.  John Candy would have been great, God rest his soul.

5) Barney Miller.  Now here’s a wild card entry.  This cop comedy (along with M*A*S*H*) was a regular staple of our dinner time viewing back in the early 80’s.  It was mostly humorous, but would occasionally delve into serious subjects – not nearly as many as M*A*S*H*.  It’s been so long since I saw these episodes, that they would be fresh again.  It narrowly beats WKRP in Cincinnati due to the fact there are more episodes.  That and I practically live WKRP every day, so the freshness factor isn’t as great.

Jack’s Top Five:

1) The Muppet Show. Laugh if you will, but this is one of the most successful syndicated television shows of all-time, and if I’m truly gauging which of these shows generated the most enjoyment in my life, there’s no doubt it was the Muppet Show.  This was the kids show that was enjoyable for adults before Disney and Pixar had mastered that technique on the big screen.  Plus, this show seemed to integrate relatively prominent stars more impressively than any kids shows do now (yes, and I’m aware of when that guy from Devo was on Yo Gabba Gabba)

2) Friends. I feel like I need to apologize for this, but if I’m being honest with myself, I probably spent ten times the hours watching reruns of Monica, Chandler and the crew as compared to any other show ever in syndication.  While 15 years out, some of the episodes have the occasional uncomfortable cheese factor, I’m still not ashamed to say I still get caught up waiting for lines like “There was definite cuppage” and “We were on a break!”.

3) Dukes of Hazzard. Again, going back to my childhood a bit here, but this show seemed to translate to syndication in a way that was so smooth that I’m surprised it’s never really been able to get the run that inferior shows from the same era like Matlock and Magnum P.I. have enjoyed.  While Bo & Luke’s adventures often made for formulaic plots, that kind of reliability is often something that actually makes a show in syndication more desirable.

4) America’s Funniest Home Videos. Don’t look now, but not only is this show on in syndication a LOT, but it’s also about to kick off its 21st season of new programming as well.  That’s nothing to sneeze at, so something’s obviously working.  Now, that said, the hosts and in-studio commentary has almost been unwatchable over the years, whether it was Bob Saget, Daisy Fuentes or Tom Bergeron.  Nonetheless, I still just don’t get tired of watching little kids hit men in the groin with baseballs, golf clubs and other various items.  It’s also nice, because it’s probably the only show on television right now that I my son and I can sit down, watch together, and both enjoy.

5) Blind Date. This is a little deeper cut.  Perhaps you didn’t ever see this show, which hit its syndication stride in the late 90s/early 2000s.  It was hosted by Roger Lodge, and it was staple late-night viewing while I was in college.  Again, it was incredibly formulaic, but reality TV was still in its infancy, and this was before the Bachelor, Joe Millionaire, and all of the other scads of romance reality series, so there was something pretty fresh about cameras following an unscripted date–and the potential for the date to end up very, very well or very, very badly were equally compelling.

What did we miss?  Post your top 5 in the comments below.

Ben Nelson Defends Kagan Vote, Pledges to Stick with Dems

Senator Ben Nelson joined Jack & John in the Morning on Tuesday to talk about his  decision to oppose the nomination of Elana Kagan and to respond to recent speculation that a move to the Republican party may be in the cards.

Nelson emphatically clarified that he has no intention of leaving the Democratic party,  either to become a Republican or an Independent, saying, “you don’t leave a party, your party leaves you”.  He also provided an interesting rationale for his loyalty to the  Democratic party, saying that the Dems offer him greater leeway to take positions that  might be directly in step with the party line than the Republicans would.

Nelson on Party Switch (Audio)

Nelson also talked about his decision to oppose the nomination of Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court, citing “voluminous” correspondence from Nebraskans raising concerns about Kagan, so we asked him why the barrage of communication from constituents regarding his health care vote didn’t seem to hold as much sway.  Listen to his response below:

Nelson on Constituent Correspondence (Audio)

Finally, Nelson asserted that people who think the Feds have been inactive on the issue of illegal immigration haven’t been paying attention, and he indicated that he was “being told” the border will be “secured” within 6-12 months, allowing D.C. decision makers to turn their focus to dealing with the existing illegal immigrants.

You can hear the Nelson interview in its entirety here.

Show Rewind 8/2/10: Trader Joe’s Confirmation, 2 a.m. inevitability and Jack the pro eater

We got another week fired up on the show–if you missed it, here’s the recap:

-Jack bemoaned the fact that parts of Lincoln seemed to smell like a hog farm last night, but John was oblivious to the smell, so this mystery is still unsolved.

-There’s been much scuttlebutt about whether or not the trendy grocery chain Trader Joe’s is coming to South Pointe.  We got an initial look at this week’s city council agenda and saw that this afternoon TJ’s will be setting a hearing date for the liquor license application, so it appears that this is a go.  The address listed with the application is 3120 Pine Lake Road, Suite R.  Interestingly enough on the official Trader Joe’s website, it doesn’t list Lincoln as a “coming soon” location, although Omaha was on there.

-Jack will be making his competitive eating debut in the Union Bank dollar-a-dog fundraiser for the United Way and is trying to determine what his WWE-style compeitive eating stage name will be.  Suggestions included “The Litigurgitator” and the “Fartin’ Spartan”.  Jack also maintains he could easily win the competition if he wanted to, but is concerned that he’s going to make himself miserable for his birthday weekend if he ingests 20 bunless hot dogs in 5 minutes.  We’ll see if the competitive juice flare up.  If you want to see Jack do his thing live, he’ll be out at the main Union Bank branch on South 27th on Friday over the noon hour stuffing himself.

-Finally, the guys talked to City Council chair John Spatz, who has said the frequency by which he’s being contacted by bar owners in support of a 2 a.m. close time has significantly increased and now Spatz says that the 2 a.m. close time will happen eventually, he’s just not sure how soon.  He also mentioned that in the ordinance he’s suggested, the 2 a.m. close time goes through a bit of a trial period after which it would be re-evaluated by the city council before being made permanent.

Tuesday Top 5: Breakfast Cereals

Welcome to the start of a new weekly feature that will begin here on the blog, but carry over to the air: Jack & John’s Tuesday Top 5.

Each Tuesday, we will post each of our personal top five lists on a specific category.  You can look them over and then join us in an on-air discussion/debate on Wednesdays during the show.  Bring your own favorites and join in the conversation.

This week our Tuesday Top 5 is BREAKFAST CEREALS.

John’s Top Five:

1 – Cap’n Crunch

Cap’n my rear end!  The man should be at least a Four-Star General.  Best.  Cereal.  Ever.  Yeah, I can hear your complaints right now.  “Ohhhh, it scrapes the roof of my mouth!”  Bull honkies!  Yes, the cereal is hard.  But I think Tom Hanks said it best in “A League of Their Own” when he said…. (fast forward to about 1:15.)

And forget that rancid peanut butter version and I can do without Crunch Berries or Choco-Crunch.  Give me the real, leaded, pure Cap’n Crunch.  It’s nature’s perfect food.  (if all food was small, square and orange.)

2 – Grape Nuts

You wanna talk hard?!?  This is a man’s cereal.  It’s eating gravel.  It doesn’t have a lot of flavor unless you (cue Def Leppard) pour some sugar on it, but it’s good.  Nothing fancy.  And unlike some people who wait for the cereal to get soggy, I relish those first few bites when it still has enough bite back.  Work those teeth!  Grind!  Grind !  Grind!

3 – Cocoa Pebbles

I don’t like to drink the remaining milk in my cereal bowl.  I know that sounds weird, but I try to scoop any remaining milk with the final few spoonfuls of cereal.  But if there’s any leftover milk at the bottom of the bowl, it’s gone baby.  Down the drain.  There is one exception and this is it.  Cocoa Freakin’ Pebbles.  This is the king, queen, prince…. the whole royal family of chocolate flavored cereals.  Cocoa Krispies?  No.  Cocoa Puffs?  No.  Count Chocula?  No, but those marshmallows are tasty.  Nope, this is the big dog and it’s time to let the big dog eat!………or, actually, it’s time to EAT THE BIG DOG!  Woof!

4 – Sugar Smacks/Super Golden Crisp

These two are tied because they are the same cereal.  No differentiation between the two.  Except one has a frog on the box (“diggem”) and the other has a bear.  Pretty simple cereal when you think about it.  Sugar glazed wheat puffs.  And if you think you’re eating healthy, think again.  In a 2008 Consumer Reports study, these two cereals tied for the most sugar content – more than 50 percent (by weight), at least as much sugar in one serving as there is in a Dunkin Donuts glazed donut.  They even recommended parents find cereals with better nutrition ratings that these two.

SALUTE!

5 – Raisin Bran

When I’m in the mood for flaked cereals, this is the go-to.  Don’t need figs, twigs or berries either.  Just gimme those “two scoops” and I’m set.

Jack’s Top Five:

1 – Cinnamon Toast Crunch

As you go through my top 5, you’ll notice that I put a very high value on cereal that doesn’t get gross after sitting in milk for 30 seconds.  There’s nothing less appetizing then pouring a bowl of cereal, and by your third spoonful, you’re eating something with consistency of a saltine soaked in water.  Cinnamon Toast Crunch combines a heartiness that withstands milk reasonably well with the magical taste that could only be attained by combining cinnamon, sugar, and some other ingredient with crack-like appeal and dusting it over what looks like little tiny pieces of toast.  Plus the after-cereal milk (see Bish’s reference above) from CTC is a beverage I’d buy separately if I could.

2 – Reece’s Puffs

It stands to reason that when the makers of my favorite candy bar took their product to the cereal world, I’m a big fan.  It should be noted that this product is a creation of the last decade, and back in my 1990s cereal-eating heyday (college and bachelorhood),  Cap’n Crunch’s Peanut Butter Crunch occupied this spot.  Sadly, for the Cap’n, he’s been replaced with Reece’s, which is superior in every imaginable way.  Aside from Reeces’ fantastic ability to withstand milk sogginess, the peanut butter taste is more realistic and the paring with chocolate provides for a more diverse experience for the palate, not to mention better aesthetics.  The Cap’n’s peanut butter offering was much blander tasting and looking, and if you weren’t careful, it could easily be mistaken for the even less appealing Kix.

3- Waffle Crisp

I believe Waffle Crisp, while not necessarily a mainstream cereal brand name, to be the single most polarizing cereal in the last 25 years.  Like the above entry, Waffle Crisp is relative newcomer, hitting shelves in 1996.  If you aren’t familiar with this offering from Post Cereals, you should be aware that as soon as you rip open that bag, the smell of maple syrup will saturate everything within a 50-foot radius from the box.  This intense syrup smell is repulsive to some (e.g. my wife), but it’s also the cereal’s saving grace, as its sheer intensity is incredibly pleasant to those who fancy that true waffle-eating experience.  This is also one of the rare cereals that actually tastes exactly the same dry or in milk.  I’ve talked about ability to withstand milk from a sogginess standpoint above, but it’s also important to note that milk also generally dilutes the taste of nearly any sugared cereal.  I’ve not found a product that is as resistant to this problem as Waffle Crisp.

4- Lucky Charms

On its surface, it seems like the concept behind Lucky Charms should suck.  Basically, they took a bunch of slightly frosted cereal pieces that look like they didn’t make the cut at the Alpha-Bits factory, and they mix in “marshmallows” that don’t have the consistency of anything I’ve ever roasted over a fire or put in hot chocolate.  Yet somehow, it just works.  Biting into the weird crunchy consistency of those marshmallows seems to produce some sort of endorphin rush in my body that I can’t explain.  In the end, I’m fairly sure that I’ve got a capacity to eat a larger quantity of Lucky Charms than any other cereal on this list.  Whenever I bust out the ‘Charms, it’s like some involuntary reflex comes over me that causes me to refill my bowl repeatedly.  After 15 minutes, I’ll get up and realize that I’ve been in some sort of Lucky Charms blackout and have eaten an entire box in one sitting.  It’s simultaneously satisfying and disturbing.

5 – Life

It’s probably clear from the rest of this list that I was denied sugary cereal most of my childhood, and when I got into my later teenage years and no longer had my mom regulating my cereal intake, I tried to make up for those lost years by consuming exclusively the most sugary, candy-like cereals to the point it almost became an addiction.  Thanks to that period of my life, I have virtually no taste for any non-sugared or ‘adult’ cereal.  I highly doubt I’ll ever eat a bowl of Rice Krispies, Cheerios or Wheaties again in my entire life.  That said, for some reason I still have a taste for Life that I can’t explain.  Perhaps it’s because when I ate it, I’d usually douse it with sugar, which seemed to stick better to Life, because of its vented construction.  I did enough experimentation in an attempt to alter the taste of crappy cereal that I know trying the same with Cheerios or Rice Krisipes just left you with a useless pile of sugar at the bottom of the bowl.

We’ll be discussing our lists and taking your calls tomorrow during the show to see if you think we’ve made mistakes or oversights.  Feel free to post your personal top 5 cereal lists in the comments section for the purposes of comparison and debate.

Dear Children of the Horn…

KU, OU, Mizzou, ISU, Okie State, K-State: Welcome to your nightmare

An article is fanning the flames of hate for Texas around the Husker Nation.  If you haven’t read it, see it here.

Now usually, I don’t get entangled in wars of words with other members of the media, but I thought just this once I could take this one time to make an exception.  There was just too many things left hanging that deserve a response, so let’s have some fun.

Husker fans, we appreciate the passion you show toward your football team. As Texas fans, we have always admired you and appreciated your tradition and class.

Really?  You admire something about someone else other than yourselves?  Holy freakin’ crap, the sky is falling!

But you began a dance with the dark side a few years ago by hiring a coach from the Bob Stoops tree.

I assume here, you are talking about one Mark “Bo” Pelini.  True, Pelini played for Bob Stoops’s father Ron at Cardinal Mooney.  True, the Pelini and Stoops families are close.  But while Bob Stoops was making his bones at K-State and Florida before going to Oklahoma, Pelini was playing for Ohio State; G.A. at Iowa; assistant at Cardinal Mooney and then off to the NFL with the 49ers, Patriots and Packers.  The only time Pelini worked under Stoops was for the single season at OU after the firing of Frank Solich – and that was a one year layover until Pelini found LSU.  While Pelini would be proud to call Stoops a mentor of sorts, his coaching acumen was most forged by Pete Carroll and George Seifert. 

But somewhere – say, with about one second left on the clock in last year’s Big 12 championship game – you changed. I don’t recall Osborne ever going into a rage with officials after losing a tough game, and he’s lost a ton of games much bigger than the one you lost to Texas last December.

That’s Bo.  He’s not Tom Osborne.  We get that.  Osborne has also been compared to Joe Paterno and I once saw Paterno chase a ref up the ramp after a game at full sprint.  Just sayin….

I don’t remember him cussing his opponent, or blaming the referees or money or anything else for a loss. Heck, he’s even friendly with Barry Switzer.

Yes, and Pelini is friends with Bob Stoops.  Your point?

Since December, when the referees (accurately) “put one second back” on the clock, you’ve become a loud, antagonizing, arrogant, ignorant, fact-ignoring, excuse-riddled shell of a program you used to be. You’ve become Oklahoma.

Here’s where we can find common ground.  I too feel that the one second was correctly put back on the clock, but let’s face it, due to the embarrassingly incompetent final few seconds of that game it’s hard not to still feel a little peeved about the result.  Ask any team that’s been beaten by a freakishly unusual circumstance.  Hail Mary passes.  The Stanford band.  The ’72 U.S. Olympic basketball team.  Right or wrong it sucks to lose like that.  Your fans…ANY fans would still harbor bitterness….especially after watching Nebraska’s so-called “One Man Gang” defense (Suh) utterly confuse and befuddle the great Colt McCoy (and cost him “his” Heisman) and the supposedly unstoppable Texas offense.  It also is extra galling when your charm school doctorate head coach boldly goes on national TV right after the game and says “we knew we had time left all along.”  BEVO CRAP!  Mack Brown had no more grasp of the situation than Barack Obama has a firm hold on the U.S. Department of Agriculture.  While your defense was also stout that night (thanks in part to the worst offensive game plan this side of the 2004 Iowa State game) you won because of dumb luck.  Didn’t cheat.  Didn’t pay off anybody.  But dumb damn luck.

Worse – for you – you’ve done something Osborne wouldn’t have dreamed of doing: you’ve publically called out an opponent. As everyone from Lincoln to Austin has heard, the crack group of Nebraska marketers (another oxymoron) decided to produce a video (www.redoutaroundtheworld.com) that encourages fan zaniness with a thinly-veiled ultimate goal: Beat Texas.

Again, won’t disagree.  The “Beat Texas” thing was not Nebraska.  But it was also conceived well before the Big Ten/Big 12 discussion, too.  Last winter in fact.  The original thought was to pick this one game to bring back the alums for a celebration (see, last year’s OU game and the 2003 Husker Nation celebration.)  So why not do it during the biggest game of the year?  We didn’t even need to play last year’s conference championship to know what the biggest home game on the 2010 schedule was going to be.  Of course, things changed dramatically since the decision was made last winter to use October 16th as the target date.  That’s Nebraska’s fault for not changing with the dynamics of the situation – they’ve admitted that.

To his credit, Osborne has ordered the ‘Beat Texas’ part of the message deleted, but he is definitely a part of this entire build-up. He’s the director of athletics, and he’s the one who hired the coaching staff. And maybe we shouldn’t be surprised by Osborne’s role in all of this. After all, he’s the one who orchestrated the Huskers’ move to the Big Ten, though he has denied that Nebraska moved primarily because of angst against Texas.

Let me repeat something I wrote here back in June about this topic.  THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU, TEXAS!  Sure, having you goat-ropers around has made things difficult and sometimes unbearable to deal with, but when an offer like the Big Ten comes around, YOU TAKE IT!  Athletically, academically, culturally.  It all fits for Nebraska.  Even better than if we were just still in the old Big 8.  This move will impact the entire university for generations – and very, very, very likely in a positive way.  Nebraska doesn’t have the population and the big money.  It needs every advantage it can get both on the field and in the classroom to be a top-flight school.  Big Ten money, Big Ten power, Big Ten academics and Big Ten prestige give Nebraska that advantage.  The Big 12 can’t do that.  Even riding your esteemed coattails.

After his coaching career ended, Osborne spent some time representing his state in Washington, so between rubbing elbows with politicians and Oklahomans, maybe we shouldn’t be altogether surprised by his transformation. It gets pretty muddy in there with the pigs.

I’m going to forgive your ignorance on this subject.  Yes, Tom Osborne was in Washington, but the man is as grounded and steadfast in his beliefs, faith and integrity as he has ever been.

The problem with your newly-discovered petulance is that not only do you not have the tools in the toolbox to complete your task (a.k.a., an offense), but your attempts to drum up support are not only completely unoriginal, but also personal.

Yes, the offense sucked last year.  So that means it will suck every year henceforth?  Someone tell Taylor Martinez, there might be time to transfer.  And by the way, what do you mean “personal.”  The video said “Beat Texas.”  That’s personal?!?  Dang, no wonder you guys send people to death row for jaywalking.

Still, how can we Texas fans not appreciate you imploring your backers to “Be Loud”? After all, Texas came up with that line more than 10 years ago.

You invented the line “Be Loud?”  Damn, so you did come up with something more than just Jimmy Dean sausage (mmmmmm, sausage.)

You’ve also asked your fan base to “Come Early,” which must’ve excited your marketing folks when the idea was first tossed across the picnic table outside the barn. Texas first thought of this in Ricky Williams’ Heisman year

And you came up with the concept “Come Early” too?!?!  Son of a bi………..

The “red-out” aspect of your promotion is quaint, but unoriginal. Do you really have to tell Huskers’ fans to wear red? Really?

Agreed.  I hate it too.  Been doing it since the invention of red polyester.  We are not fashion trend setters.

Here’s the deal: had you won last December’s game (you didn’t), Mack Brown would’ve been the first one to cross the field and shake your coach’s hand. He would’ve been gracious in defeat, as always. The refs wouldn’t have been blamed. Bank accounts would’ve have been blamed. DeLoss Dodds wouldn’t have had to be in the tunnel after the game calming down his coaching staff (Will Muschamp being the possible exception).

No, Mack Brown would have been too busy running from the posse who were out to hang him for his dumbass handling of the last 30 seconds.

And like you, the Longhorns will be ready on Oct. 16. A game that would’ve been a great game between a pair of programs with mutual respect has now become a “game to circle” for both teams.

Oh crap!  (yelling off mic) “Hey ma!  You know that Texas game that nobody gave a crap about?  Yeah.  Well since Nebraska started that redout video thing, we’ve done pissed ’em all off.  Yeah, that Big Ten talk and conference championship game really didn’t mean a whole lot.  Yep, it was going to be just another Saturday.  But now……Boy Howdy are we in for a heap a trouble!”

The problem for you, though, is simple: you don’t have the players to make your dream come true. Your marketing team certainly has plenty of swagger, but your real swagger – spelled S-U-H – is not walking through that door.

(Off mic again) “Dammit, ma!  Why didn’t you tell me that Big Suh wasn’t gonna be around anymore?!!?  Yeah, apparently not only was he the only player on the Blackshirts last year, he took the whole damn swagger with him, too!  We cain’t win without swagger!  It’s like Austin Powers without his mojo!”

When next year begins, you’ll beat Western Kentucky and Idaho, and then you’ll lose in Seattle to Washington, to a team with one of the best quarterbacks in the country.

That’s okay, he’s playing Prince Amukamara, one of the best defensive backs in the country.

You’ll beat San Diego State,

When did San Diego State appear on our schedule?

and then you might very well lose also to Kansas State in Manhattan one game before hosting Texas. It’s a very real possibility that you’ll have two losses before your red-out game with Texas. Your video will look silly then; you’ll have burnt orange crop circles in your corn.

Burnt orange?  In the corn?  (pause for thought)  FREE CAP’N CRUNCH FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And you’ll lose to a Texas team fueled at least in part by your lack of respect given since last December. Your red throng will file out of the stadium disappointed, again, still bitching about that one second from last year’s title game.

No, probably cursing Shawn Watson for his game plan.  That’s how we roll.

But then your hopes will be buoyed with another thought as you click on the radio

Hopefully listening to 1400 KLIN, of course.

and begin to listen to a litany of excuses for the ninth loss to UT in 10 tries:

I’m sure that Mack Brown’s customary dumb luck against Nebraska will somehow play a factor.  (SEE: Jammal Lord INT after deciding to punt to DeJuan Groce in 2002; Terrence Nunn fumble in 2006; taking three quarters to figure out that Jamaal Charles could run against the worst NU defense in history in 2007; last year’s CCG….)

the Big 12 North is crummy,

See what you’re stuck with Missouri, Kansas, K-State, Iowa State?……they still love you in Austin.

so maybe we’ll win the division again and make things right by facing Texas for the championship in Dallas.

Actually, we’re hoping for Oklahoma.  Remember, our coach is a Bob Stoops disciple.

Texas fans would like that very much.

But who will you root for if it’s Nebraska-Oklahoma?

(Sarcasm mode, off)  See y’all in October!

This Time Kevin WEAR SUNSCREEN!

If you haven’t heard already, Drive Time Lincoln’s Kevin Thomas is getting married next week.  As is the wedding tradition, there is a bachelor party.  But Kevin is not the strippers and booze kind of guy (well, at least not the booze), rather he is golfing with members of his wedding party and family next week.

Unfortuantly for Kevin, he knows people who are familiar with video production.  Here is their preview of The Kev Open.

http://www.youtube.com/user/BCVision08#p/a/u/0/0MQJa02jTtk

Oh, and when golfing as part of a wedding party, take it from someone who knows all too well………WEAR SUNSCREEN!