Dear Children of the Horn…

KU, OU, Mizzou, ISU, Okie State, K-State: Welcome to your nightmare

An article is fanning the flames of hate for Texas around the Husker Nation.  If you haven’t read it, see it here.

Now usually, I don’t get entangled in wars of words with other members of the media, but I thought just this once I could take this one time to make an exception.  There was just too many things left hanging that deserve a response, so let’s have some fun.

Husker fans, we appreciate the passion you show toward your football team. As Texas fans, we have always admired you and appreciated your tradition and class.

Really?  You admire something about someone else other than yourselves?  Holy freakin’ crap, the sky is falling!

But you began a dance with the dark side a few years ago by hiring a coach from the Bob Stoops tree.

I assume here, you are talking about one Mark “Bo” Pelini.  True, Pelini played for Bob Stoops’s father Ron at Cardinal Mooney.  True, the Pelini and Stoops families are close.  But while Bob Stoops was making his bones at K-State and Florida before going to Oklahoma, Pelini was playing for Ohio State; G.A. at Iowa; assistant at Cardinal Mooney and then off to the NFL with the 49ers, Patriots and Packers.  The only time Pelini worked under Stoops was for the single season at OU after the firing of Frank Solich – and that was a one year layover until Pelini found LSU.  While Pelini would be proud to call Stoops a mentor of sorts, his coaching acumen was most forged by Pete Carroll and George Seifert. 

But somewhere – say, with about one second left on the clock in last year’s Big 12 championship game – you changed. I don’t recall Osborne ever going into a rage with officials after losing a tough game, and he’s lost a ton of games much bigger than the one you lost to Texas last December.

That’s Bo.  He’s not Tom Osborne.  We get that.  Osborne has also been compared to Joe Paterno and I once saw Paterno chase a ref up the ramp after a game at full sprint.  Just sayin….

I don’t remember him cussing his opponent, or blaming the referees or money or anything else for a loss. Heck, he’s even friendly with Barry Switzer.

Yes, and Pelini is friends with Bob Stoops.  Your point?

Since December, when the referees (accurately) “put one second back” on the clock, you’ve become a loud, antagonizing, arrogant, ignorant, fact-ignoring, excuse-riddled shell of a program you used to be. You’ve become Oklahoma.

Here’s where we can find common ground.  I too feel that the one second was correctly put back on the clock, but let’s face it, due to the embarrassingly incompetent final few seconds of that game it’s hard not to still feel a little peeved about the result.  Ask any team that’s been beaten by a freakishly unusual circumstance.  Hail Mary passes.  The Stanford band.  The ’72 U.S. Olympic basketball team.  Right or wrong it sucks to lose like that.  Your fans…ANY fans would still harbor bitterness….especially after watching Nebraska’s so-called “One Man Gang” defense (Suh) utterly confuse and befuddle the great Colt McCoy (and cost him “his” Heisman) and the supposedly unstoppable Texas offense.  It also is extra galling when your charm school doctorate head coach boldly goes on national TV right after the game and says “we knew we had time left all along.”  BEVO CRAP!  Mack Brown had no more grasp of the situation than Barack Obama has a firm hold on the U.S. Department of Agriculture.  While your defense was also stout that night (thanks in part to the worst offensive game plan this side of the 2004 Iowa State game) you won because of dumb luck.  Didn’t cheat.  Didn’t pay off anybody.  But dumb damn luck.

Worse – for you – you’ve done something Osborne wouldn’t have dreamed of doing: you’ve publically called out an opponent. As everyone from Lincoln to Austin has heard, the crack group of Nebraska marketers (another oxymoron) decided to produce a video ( that encourages fan zaniness with a thinly-veiled ultimate goal: Beat Texas.

Again, won’t disagree.  The “Beat Texas” thing was not Nebraska.  But it was also conceived well before the Big Ten/Big 12 discussion, too.  Last winter in fact.  The original thought was to pick this one game to bring back the alums for a celebration (see, last year’s OU game and the 2003 Husker Nation celebration.)  So why not do it during the biggest game of the year?  We didn’t even need to play last year’s conference championship to know what the biggest home game on the 2010 schedule was going to be.  Of course, things changed dramatically since the decision was made last winter to use October 16th as the target date.  That’s Nebraska’s fault for not changing with the dynamics of the situation – they’ve admitted that.

To his credit, Osborne has ordered the ‘Beat Texas’ part of the message deleted, but he is definitely a part of this entire build-up. He’s the director of athletics, and he’s the one who hired the coaching staff. And maybe we shouldn’t be surprised by Osborne’s role in all of this. After all, he’s the one who orchestrated the Huskers’ move to the Big Ten, though he has denied that Nebraska moved primarily because of angst against Texas.

Let me repeat something I wrote here back in June about this topic.  THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU, TEXAS!  Sure, having you goat-ropers around has made things difficult and sometimes unbearable to deal with, but when an offer like the Big Ten comes around, YOU TAKE IT!  Athletically, academically, culturally.  It all fits for Nebraska.  Even better than if we were just still in the old Big 8.  This move will impact the entire university for generations – and very, very, very likely in a positive way.  Nebraska doesn’t have the population and the big money.  It needs every advantage it can get both on the field and in the classroom to be a top-flight school.  Big Ten money, Big Ten power, Big Ten academics and Big Ten prestige give Nebraska that advantage.  The Big 12 can’t do that.  Even riding your esteemed coattails.

After his coaching career ended, Osborne spent some time representing his state in Washington, so between rubbing elbows with politicians and Oklahomans, maybe we shouldn’t be altogether surprised by his transformation. It gets pretty muddy in there with the pigs.

I’m going to forgive your ignorance on this subject.  Yes, Tom Osborne was in Washington, but the man is as grounded and steadfast in his beliefs, faith and integrity as he has ever been.

The problem with your newly-discovered petulance is that not only do you not have the tools in the toolbox to complete your task (a.k.a., an offense), but your attempts to drum up support are not only completely unoriginal, but also personal.

Yes, the offense sucked last year.  So that means it will suck every year henceforth?  Someone tell Taylor Martinez, there might be time to transfer.  And by the way, what do you mean “personal.”  The video said “Beat Texas.”  That’s personal?!?  Dang, no wonder you guys send people to death row for jaywalking.

Still, how can we Texas fans not appreciate you imploring your backers to “Be Loud”? After all, Texas came up with that line more than 10 years ago.

You invented the line “Be Loud?”  Damn, so you did come up with something more than just Jimmy Dean sausage (mmmmmm, sausage.)

You’ve also asked your fan base to “Come Early,” which must’ve excited your marketing folks when the idea was first tossed across the picnic table outside the barn. Texas first thought of this in Ricky Williams’ Heisman year

And you came up with the concept “Come Early” too?!?!  Son of a bi………..

The “red-out” aspect of your promotion is quaint, but unoriginal. Do you really have to tell Huskers’ fans to wear red? Really?

Agreed.  I hate it too.  Been doing it since the invention of red polyester.  We are not fashion trend setters.

Here’s the deal: had you won last December’s game (you didn’t), Mack Brown would’ve been the first one to cross the field and shake your coach’s hand. He would’ve been gracious in defeat, as always. The refs wouldn’t have been blamed. Bank accounts would’ve have been blamed. DeLoss Dodds wouldn’t have had to be in the tunnel after the game calming down his coaching staff (Will Muschamp being the possible exception).

No, Mack Brown would have been too busy running from the posse who were out to hang him for his dumbass handling of the last 30 seconds.

And like you, the Longhorns will be ready on Oct. 16. A game that would’ve been a great game between a pair of programs with mutual respect has now become a “game to circle” for both teams.

Oh crap!  (yelling off mic) “Hey ma!  You know that Texas game that nobody gave a crap about?  Yeah.  Well since Nebraska started that redout video thing, we’ve done pissed ’em all off.  Yeah, that Big Ten talk and conference championship game really didn’t mean a whole lot.  Yep, it was going to be just another Saturday.  But now……Boy Howdy are we in for a heap a trouble!”

The problem for you, though, is simple: you don’t have the players to make your dream come true. Your marketing team certainly has plenty of swagger, but your real swagger – spelled S-U-H – is not walking through that door.

(Off mic again) “Dammit, ma!  Why didn’t you tell me that Big Suh wasn’t gonna be around anymore?!!?  Yeah, apparently not only was he the only player on the Blackshirts last year, he took the whole damn swagger with him, too!  We cain’t win without swagger!  It’s like Austin Powers without his mojo!”

When next year begins, you’ll beat Western Kentucky and Idaho, and then you’ll lose in Seattle to Washington, to a team with one of the best quarterbacks in the country.

That’s okay, he’s playing Prince Amukamara, one of the best defensive backs in the country.

You’ll beat San Diego State,

When did San Diego State appear on our schedule?

and then you might very well lose also to Kansas State in Manhattan one game before hosting Texas. It’s a very real possibility that you’ll have two losses before your red-out game with Texas. Your video will look silly then; you’ll have burnt orange crop circles in your corn.

Burnt orange?  In the corn?  (pause for thought)  FREE CAP’N CRUNCH FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And you’ll lose to a Texas team fueled at least in part by your lack of respect given since last December. Your red throng will file out of the stadium disappointed, again, still bitching about that one second from last year’s title game.

No, probably cursing Shawn Watson for his game plan.  That’s how we roll.

But then your hopes will be buoyed with another thought as you click on the radio

Hopefully listening to 1400 KLIN, of course.

and begin to listen to a litany of excuses for the ninth loss to UT in 10 tries:

I’m sure that Mack Brown’s customary dumb luck against Nebraska will somehow play a factor.  (SEE: Jammal Lord INT after deciding to punt to DeJuan Groce in 2002; Terrence Nunn fumble in 2006; taking three quarters to figure out that Jamaal Charles could run against the worst NU defense in history in 2007; last year’s CCG….)

the Big 12 North is crummy,

See what you’re stuck with Missouri, Kansas, K-State, Iowa State?……they still love you in Austin.

so maybe we’ll win the division again and make things right by facing Texas for the championship in Dallas.

Actually, we’re hoping for Oklahoma.  Remember, our coach is a Bob Stoops disciple.

Texas fans would like that very much.

But who will you root for if it’s Nebraska-Oklahoma?

(Sarcasm mode, off)  See y’all in October!


22 Responses to Dear Children of the Horn…

  1. Husker In Paradise says:

    All y’all come back now real soon, ya’ hear?

  2. Chris says:

    Freaking Outstanding!!

    Just to show you how arrogant Texas fans are I have a quick story.

    I was in the Rocky Mountain National Forrest with My wife and two children under 8 years old. We had a wonderful day hiking, seeing beautiful vista that us flat landers can appreciate.

    We were sitting on a rock being astonished by Mother Nature when a group of Texas burnt orange folk came by our picnic spot.

    One of their group presented a fake sneeze while passing by saying “Teexxas”.

    I had a big “N” on my hat and that was to much for them. None of my family got-it but I did.

    As they walked by they laughed. When they were about 8 feet pass our spot I said “Hey Dusty or Cody whatever you name is, Karma is a bitch and you just spit on Mother Nature”. Then I flashed upside down horns and then enjoyed my wonderful day.

    Only UT fans would talk stuff in a National Forest, oh, and they probably invented the National Forest too.

    Thanks for the great read.

  3. Leghorn Foghorn says:

    I say there, boy, that there is your natural born enemey, i sez. Yessir, you and him was born to tussle.

    Well done – as they say in internet land – LMFAO!!!

  4. Ryan says:

    Easily the best article i have read in a long time. I am proud to say i have shook John Bishop’s hand.

  5. Husker in Big10 Country says:

    THE BEST RESPONSE!!!! I am trying to get a license plate that says “kill bevo” but apparently the state I live in frowns on that. Texas (and their wonderful fan base) showed their true colors on this nonsense article. Tried to get it stirred up? Oh, I hope so… I hope that every player pins up that tex-ASS article next to the :01 reminder – Open their locker? that’s what they see…. I’m a Husker fan, have been all my life, and always will be. GBR!

  6. Mike Denver says:

    And wouldn’t you rather be a Sooner or Hurricane, than say a Longhole? I would.

  7. FLAHUSKER says:

    I cannot wait to see the queers and steers get whats coming to them…. revenge is a dish best served cold… i hope it’s 20 degrees on oct 16th in lincoln and i hope it snows….

  8. HuskerChick says:

    Love your rebuttal – well done! The one thing you missed and Blackwell butchered…”publically” – shouldn’t that be “publicly”?

    …Proud graduate of UNL ’92

  9. Iowa Husker says:

    Love it!

  10. Nathan says:

    I live in Texas right now, and I’ll be happy to be back in Nebraska a week from now. Everything everybody has said is correct. Sure, Memorial Stadium has a self-entitled saying above every entrance, but how many coaches, fans, and members of the media have made the statement true? Texas fans seem to believe they are the best just because they think they are. They aren’t true fans, though. I’ve come to figure that out.
    When we first moved down here in 1998, Texas A&M wasn’t bad. I knew a lot of Aggie fans at that point. Or so I thought. As the Big 12 shifted to the Big Orange, I spotted fewer and fewer emblems of guys hitchhiking (seriously, check the Aggie thumb….thing) and more and more Longhorn symbols. These “fans” didn’t really know anything about football or anything about their team; they simply knew TEXAS was winning.
    Everybody that was anybody donned a burnt orange shirt and hat, claimed their 1970 national championship (really?) with pride (even though most fans can’t even tell you the years UT has won national championships or their Heisman winners), and let the rest of us know they were the boss.
    However, ask any Texas fan you want who their quarterback was before Vince Young. I have. I have asked quite a few, in fact. More than 100. Of all I have asked, only two have gotten it right. That isn’t a very good ratio. These people call other teams out, but they aren’t even aware of the rich tradition of these other teams. They only know of Oklahoma. Teams like Nebraska, Texas A&M, and Texas Tech are now below the Horns. You would be surprised how many fans weren’t at all concerned about last year’s Big 12 Championship Game. The general consensus? 42-3. Usually the Huskers didn’t even get a chance of getting across midfield. Nobody gave anybody on the Nebraska defense any credit. They didn’t even realize who Suh was. They all considered McCoy and Earl Thomas way above anybody on Nebraska’s roster. McCoy threw zero touchdowns and Thomas had zero interceptions.
    Texas has been the thorn in the side of Nebraska since the inception of the Big 12. It does not help that James Brown is the running backs coach of the Lamar Cardinals, an independent FCS college 25 miles from where I live. Texas seems to have inherited Sooner Magic. How many times has defeat been snatched out of the hands of victory?
    In 1996, it was “Roll Left.” In 1998, Applewhite ended the 47-game home winning streak with 2:47 to play. In 2002, it was the interception at the end zone. Three point Texas victory. In 2006, I know we all remember the first down that sealed the game and then the subsequent fumble. In 2007, Jamaal Charles got free late. And, of course, last December.
    I know we all remember 1999. Nebraska should have won in late October and showed it by clobbering Texas in San Antonio. Was that team better than the 1997 squad? Maybe. But the team to take the Huskers down was Texas.
    Don’t think for a moment Texas fans don’t realize how much torment they have caused the Husker faithful.
    I could personally care less about the Big 10 move when it comes to Texas. It does make this game mean something a little extra, but this game has been huge in Lincoln since December. Nebraska coulda-shoulda-woulda….and that isn’t talking about the second that was put back on the clock. Who cares? Kansas and Kansas State coulda-shoulda-woulda. Neither of them did. This is 2010. 2009 is in the rearview.
    Nobody knows how good the Nebraska offense or defense will be. Well, nobody really knows about Texas, either.
    Texas will have a more difficult start than Nebraska (although Rice and Wyoming will be about as difficult as Western Kentucky and Idaho. The Huskers make it easy by hosting South Dakota State on a day the Horns host UCLA, but seriously, how often does Texas play anybody that’s any good out of conference?
    Texas definitely has a more difficult first half of the season. That, of course, starts with Oklahoma. Then, after a bye week, they travel to Lincoln. I would say it must be nice, but Nebraska does play at Kansas State on a Thursday night prior to Texas. Hey, if the Horns decline to play on Thursday night and schedule a bye, why not give yourself a mini bye? Great job, Huskers.
    Then things just get easy, though. Iowa State, Baylor, at Kansas State, Oklahoma State, Florida Atlantic, and Texas A&M. Five of their last six games are in Austin. I do know Manhattan has been horrid for them, though. Five of their last six teams are ranked below No. 52 by college guru Phil Steele.
    So yea. You wanna get psyched, Texas? You don’t like it when people “Mess With Ya,” do you? Everything is bigger in Texas, folks. Including the egos. However, this is not Colorado trying to say they are a rival now. This is true hate. Nebraska simply does not like Texas. It has been a long time coming, but the water has finally boiled over the pot.
    2006 was loud. 2010 will be louder. Don’t think for a minute anybody outside of Austin wants you to win on October 16, Texas. You are USC. You are Notre Dame. Nobody likes you and loves it when you fall. Don’t worry, we have been there. We Nebraska fans had that feeling. The 19-0 loss to Arizona State? The nation loved it because Nebraska wouldn’t be going undefeated in the regular season AGAIN (every year since 1993). The fans also loved it when you guys upset Nebraska for the first Big 12 Championship. Nobody wanted to see the Huskers take out another team from Florida. They loved it in 1998 when you ended the 47-game home winning streak.
    But now the fans are against you. Sure, teams like Missouri, Iowa State, and Kansas don’t like Nebraska leaving, but only Missouri will be strongly cheering against the Huskers. After all, Nebraska has everything Missouri wants. It must be upsetting to be the little brother that’s less talented and has less friends. I understand. But don’t worry, Texas fan. Whatever happens, Nebraska fans will stand and clap and cheer. Just ask Ricky Williams. Or Bobby Bowden. Or anybody else.

  11. OldGoldKnights says:

    Crafty response there. Even some of my Longhorn friends were embarrassed by the original piece. I am in no way embarrassed by your reply! Good work.

  12. Bugeater Bill says:

    Well done!

  13. Nephred says:

    As much as UT fans hate to admit it, Mack Brown originally told the UT fans he wanted them to be like Nebraska fan’s. The fact that we came early & were loud. So he may have coined the phrase. Husker fans inspired it.

  14. mike says:

    Actually, there never should have been a second put on the clock. The NCAA rules are very clear. only in a case of an egregious error made by the time keepers can a time clock be reviewed. The word is EGREGIOUS, look it up if your from Texas and aren’t sure what it means, here is a hint, it means really really horrible. In this case the refs and timekeepers followed protocol to the letter of the NCAA law. Nothing happened on that play any different than any play that day or that season. The only thing goofy was that Walt Anderson walked up behind the replay booth official and ordered him to review the play and even the the replay booth official protested, it was reviewed. walt Anderson without even watching the replay ordered a second back on the clock. Who is walt Anderson? he was the head of officials for this game. It should also be noted that Walt Anderson is yes…you guessed it, a University of Texas Alumnist and booster. Thats how good Ut has it in the big 12. They have people planted everywhere to make sure their will be done.

  15. John O says:

    I lived in Austin ’88 to ’99, when the Big-12 formed. Immediately Texas fans hated Nebraska – it was amazing to watch. That’s how they think. They are neither as sophisticated nor as classy as Nebraska fans – they know that and hate that. You can have all the population and money in the world and you can can’t buy class. Remember that Nebraska – never ever lose that classiness. Let’s continue policing each other. No stupid behavior.

    I flew with TX fans in 1998 on AA from Austin-Dallas-Omaha for that first first NU/TX game in Lincoln – DeLoss Dodds was in first class. I told them they was about to experience somethinf very special. On the way back to Austin they told me their stories of wonderful treatment and respect they received. They vowed to change their ways in Austin for ’99 and show the same level of friendliness.

    We’re winning. Stay classy, don’t let them drag you down to their level.

  16. Michael J says:

    A few additions that could have been added to this outstanding commentary on Texas arrogance:

    *In regards to Nebraska not having any players or swagger since Suh left – what about when Texas lost Ricky Williams, Vince Young, or Colt McCoy? Are were they to survive without these superstars?!?

    *In regards to Mack Brown being gracious in defeat – didn’t Texas put up a 2008* Big XII championship sign in their offices even though they didn’t play for the Big XII Championship?!? A tiebreaker kept them out of the game. Why didn’t Kansas State in 1999, Nebraska in 2000, 2001, and 2008, Texas in 2002, Iowa State in 2004, and Kansas in 2007 do the same thing? They all tied for their respective division titles but didn’t get a chance to win the Big XII championship. Talk about Texas arrogance at it’s finest…

  17. USMCHusker says:

    Bevo is a steer, I once stated that fact to a typical “horn” who was being obnoxious dropping f’bombs every other sentence where my parents and I were watching a Husker game. He replied “yeah a longhorn, a bovine”. My response “yes hut a steer is a castrated bull.” (blank stare from him) I continued, “An animal that has been castrated has had its balls removed, which says a lot about ut, and Austin in general, you all worship an animal with no balls.” He paid his tab and left. Everyone else In the bar laughed. Go Big Red!

  18. dylan says:

    John – Nice article, but I cannot let your comment about that last second go, since you apparently still don’t understand the issue at hand.

    The clock stops when the ref on the field signals the play dead. Period. End of story, end of game. There is no precedent or rule for using instant replay to determine the exact second when the play SHOULD have been blown dead. See the end of the Wash St. vs. Michigan game in the 98 rose bowl or a million other games where an extra second or two is lost at the end of a play before the ref signals.

    (As a side note, if the ref on the field had signaled the play dead with a second left (according to their official, on-field time) and it was merely a clock operator error, the ref can immediately request the clock be adjusted to the correct time. this is not an uncommon occurrence, but is not what happened.)

  19. Erich says:

    Very well done, John. I prefer not to participate in the pissing match – as a Husker fan who grew up in Texas (and goes to UNL now) I have many knowledgeable friends in both fanbases. But if I was crafting a response, it would probably be along these lines.

  20. […] Dear Children of the Horn… An article is fanning the flames of hate for Texas around the Husker Nation.  If you haven’t read it, see it […] […]

  21. […] So leaving wasn’t all about us? We are sooooo relieved. […]

  22. littlelonghorngirl says:

    Everyone is all up in arms about two differnt people trying to stir things up to make a buck and create controversy!

    I am a cheerleader for the school and I can assure you this is not us and not the majority of the people here that I know. As far as arrogance – I love my university just as you people love yours – is that arrogance? When someone says UT fans are arrogant and superior – sure there are some, it’s a big university – the same can be said for you guys.
    We are just people, like you, and students and lovers of our school and we are proud -that’s all.

    Personally, I love Nebraska – I hate it that you are leaving the Big 12 – we will be the worse for it and we will miss you.

    I can tell you this as well – being somewhat on the inside – The coaches of the Longhorns like Nebraska, their coaches AND their fans are equally upset about your departure.

    Good luck in your new conference – we are all pulling for you to do well!

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